And..The Gap Grows!

I have always been petrified of dentists. Still am.

And yet, on valentine's day the only date I had, and that too an impromptu one was with the dentist(The husband has been away in Finland, supposedly working very hard so could not even complain!)

I got a phone call from Vaibhav yesterday asking me to rush to school because he was bleeding!! My stomach did several mini somersaults while I mechanically headed towards his school.I found him at the school dentist's clinic. The dentist and he were having a serious chat. Couldn't care less as to what it was about. ..just glad that he was well enough to be discussing something. Barged my way into their conversation to find my poor little boy's lips bleeding profusely. He had apparently tripped on another boy and fallen flat on his face. But those minor details were all cast aside...as they were discussing more important things like whether to pull or not.

WHAT? Not again. He had the first two teeth pulled out as well and I was looking forward to having this one take its own time. But No, the doc felt that the fall had loosened the tooth a little too much and Mr. V played his part well by adding that it irritated him a lot!

I held his hand firm, shut my eyes tight and looked away the other side. The dentist counted ...one- two - three. I turned around to peek if it was all over but horror of horrors it was not. Vaibhav had a mirror in one hand, intensely watching the gruesome scene unfold while the dentist was tugging at his teeth!

Tooth once again was handed over to him in a ziploc. Vaibhav came to me and whispered that I never should take the doc's first one -two -three seriously. " Amma, the docs say it the first time so that they dont get nervous, they will always pull it out only the second time. You should not have opened your eyes till the second time"!!

He's a brave kid alright but those genes are definitely not mine. He gave me a big toothless grin and said that today was his lucky day as God had accidentally, correctly made him fall!!

And the irony of it all, the dentist was not handsome, nope, he was not even a guy. My Valentine's date was with this very nice, grandmotherly lady who might have checked all of my teeth too had I stayed a minute longer!!

Chores No More A Bore!

We started off with gold stars and black marks. Good behavior = 1 gold star
Bad behavior = Black Mark
At the end of the month we would tally it all up and dole out $2 to each kid.

After a while, this system failed. The reward at the end of the month was too long a wait!!

We progressed to instant rewards and withdrawal of treats (I detest calling them punishments...makes me sound so cruel)!So for every good deed and nice behavior, they enjoyed an extra 10 minutes of playtime, piggyback ride on Dad's back to the loo and back, extra 5 minutes of bubble blowing during bathtime. And for bad behavior, it was 15 minutes deducted from 'sacred' half an hour of tv time a day or worse still 1 0 minutes of quiet time during play hour.

It seemed like I was always going...V- you miss 10 mins of tv this weekend, S- you have to sit and eat your dinner in the kitchen as you miss 10 mins of tv time and its your brothers turn to enjoy a tv dinner.And they went....' But amma, this is the program that I have been waiting for 2 weeks. Can I miss tv time tomorrow instead...pleeeeeaaase?', ' Howcome I got 15 mins of playtime cut yesterday while he only gets 10 mins of tv time cut today?' Amma, you are SO mean!!'

Aaargh...keeping track of who misses what and when and why was getting to me. Added to that, carrying forward these missing-of-treats was def making me go crazy. BUT the system worked. They hated missing their treats but I realized that it was the resentment towards the withdrawal of treats rather than the cause of it all that finally stuck in their heads.

There had to be a better way. A method where the kids happily accept the consequences and I am not seen as the in-house witch! And we found a system that works for us just nicely through one of their beloved Berenstein Bear books. Mamma Bear is pretty much in the same situation as me. And she brilliantly suggests chores for every bad bit of behavior!

So, now we have a list put up in the kitchen that reads:

Bloopers ----- Help Josie aunty (housekeeper) dust the furniture
Bad Table manners ------------ Wipe the table clean after x meals
Disrespect/Disobedience -------- help with odd jobs like putting away the dishes or putting away the shoes in the rack

The kids understand this better.The consequences are very clearly spelt out. So, no more negotiations, no more' You are the Meanest Mom', no more having to remember the whats and whys.

I love this constructive way of learning while realizing their follies. And it certainly helps that the kids are actually acquiring new skills which could come very handy in Finland where we are moving to soon. Super thrilled that they have especially become adept at cleaning the dining table. They will say it out aloud before carrying out the task: Clear dishes, wet cloth first, dry cloth last!

Yesterday, caught Vaibhav skewing his head and narrowing his eyes to check the table one last time for any hidden stains!Aah, the satisfaction of a job well done:-)

Thank you Mamma Bear!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!

You can't miss the buzz and spirit of Chinese New Year living in Singapore!
It was celebration time at Shriya's school. And what a celebration it was this year!!We rung in the year of the dragon amidst lots of fun, music, dance and food!