I am used to my son's regular requests for superhero toys, games, videos...the list is endless. He loves his toys and actually keeps abreast of what's hot and not and is adept at the fine art of 'When to strike!'. My little girl on the other hand has no wants. And no, I'm not exaggerating, she has not till date asked us for ANYTHING!! She does not want toys- "I have so many at home", she does not wish for clothes- "I already feel like a princess in these clothes" and she does not ask for junk food- because her all-time favourite snacks are steamed Idiyappams, pumpkin seeds and walnuts!
Where did I get this little blessing from? She's just this satisfied little soul who has still not had her first acquaintance with pessimism.
I: Shriya, pl don't take your drink near Amma's laptop
S: Why?
I: It could get spoiled!!
S: Don't worry ma, we can always buy a new one!!
Vaibhs and I: Shucks, we are 10 minutes late. The movie would have definitely started
S: Only 10 minutes have gone? Phew, I though we might have missed more than half the movie!!
But just because she does not want anything, I don't let her off that easily. I love buying her clothes and matching trinkets and shoes....well, basically everything that you buy when you do have a daughter! She's a great sport and will let me dress her ( except for her hair...as she says "It's my hair and I DON'T want it in a ponytail!!!) and have my fun.
Yesterday, we were out and I happened to pass a shoe store which was offering good rebates as part of the Great Singapore Sale. Naturally, I had to go in. I checked out a couple of pairs, tried on two and then decided that it wasn't that great afterall.
When we came out Shriya asked me "Why are you looking to buy some more shoes? Is your old pair broken? You already have so many. Let's not be greedy, ma"!! OUCH...that hurt! Didn't quite expect a reprimand from my 3 year old. But maybe you are right. Do I REALLY need another pair? Even if it is perfect for the new dress that I recently bought? Hmm...
Shriya, you are wonderfully refreshing in a world of wants. Your attitude, optimism and simplicity are striking now and if you nurture these traits for another couple of years, you will sparkle as part of a 'lone breed'!
Just promise to stay this way my little pet!
Autumns here!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
1234 let the yucky feeling go
It poured and poured for hours! The roads were flooded and for once Singapore was a mess. We had a tough time getting to and from school. But once home, we warmed up with hot chocolate, cheese pakoras and French toast. The rain is lovely when you can enjoy it in the snugness of your home!
V suddenly sprang up from his chair to peek out through the window. “Amma, what happens to all the construction workers who are working outside?” I said that most of them continue working with raincoats and umbrellas. And yes, he did see tiny little figures in yellow moving around.
V’s face fell and he said ‘paavam, I feel like crying for them’. I hugged him and said that it was alright to feel sad but to remember that the men were working towards a purpose which was to earn as much as they could everyday back home for their families. That actually made it worse as V then started wondering about the families and the children far from their Dadas.
I explained to him that life wasn’t easy for many people. Money came with a lot of hardwork and even then not a lot of it. Of course, he had seen people begging in India. Both kids would insist that we give every passing beggar some money. We indulged them but also had to explain that some people genuinely needed the money while some others were just being naughty. After that every other beggar V saw, he would ask if they were really hungry or just plain lazy!
We want our children to be happy and successful and Emotional Intelligence plays a crucial role towards the achievement of that plan. My kids too have their mood swings. And when they get angry, we first acknowledge the feeling and then sing a song with them which goes '1234 let the yucky feeling go'. They can sing it as loud and as awfully as they want to. they let off steam and then begin to calm down. The same for excitement. At times when they get excited they go berserk. I've asked them to first give me a tiiiiight hug and show me how excited they are....and somehow this helps!
I was glad…very glad that my son actually noticed and thought about the construction workers. The very fact that he empathised and thought beyond himself and his comforts warmed my heart......a lot more than the frothy cup of cocoa in my hands!
V suddenly sprang up from his chair to peek out through the window. “Amma, what happens to all the construction workers who are working outside?” I said that most of them continue working with raincoats and umbrellas. And yes, he did see tiny little figures in yellow moving around.
V’s face fell and he said ‘paavam, I feel like crying for them’. I hugged him and said that it was alright to feel sad but to remember that the men were working towards a purpose which was to earn as much as they could everyday back home for their families. That actually made it worse as V then started wondering about the families and the children far from their Dadas.
I explained to him that life wasn’t easy for many people. Money came with a lot of hardwork and even then not a lot of it. Of course, he had seen people begging in India. Both kids would insist that we give every passing beggar some money. We indulged them but also had to explain that some people genuinely needed the money while some others were just being naughty. After that every other beggar V saw, he would ask if they were really hungry or just plain lazy!
We want our children to be happy and successful and Emotional Intelligence plays a crucial role towards the achievement of that plan. My kids too have their mood swings. And when they get angry, we first acknowledge the feeling and then sing a song with them which goes '1234 let the yucky feeling go'. They can sing it as loud and as awfully as they want to. they let off steam and then begin to calm down. The same for excitement. At times when they get excited they go berserk. I've asked them to first give me a tiiiiight hug and show me how excited they are....and somehow this helps!
I was glad…very glad that my son actually noticed and thought about the construction workers. The very fact that he empathised and thought beyond himself and his comforts warmed my heart......a lot more than the frothy cup of cocoa in my hands!
Who is this lady?
My in-laws live in Poes garden bang opposite Jayalalitha’s residence. We made umpteen trips in and out of Poes garden during our last trip and were greeted with huge posters of JJ and a host of security guards who kept close watch of the passersby. Now V had no clue who JJ was. Here’s how the conversation went…
V- Who is this?
V‘s Dad- Her name is Jayalalitha
V- How did she get so fat, did she eat a lot of junk food?
V’s Dad- Maybe or maybe she has other health problems
V- Is she very famous, how come her pictures are on the walls?
V‘s Dad- Well…in a way yes
V- I want to be famous too
V‘s Dad - OK
V - But why does she have so many policemen outside her house
V’s Dad- She has a lot of money in her house
V- Oh, did she steal the money and maybe that’s why the policemen have come to capture her??
V- Who is this?
V‘s Dad- Her name is Jayalalitha
V- How did she get so fat, did she eat a lot of junk food?
V’s Dad- Maybe or maybe she has other health problems
V- Is she very famous, how come her pictures are on the walls?
V‘s Dad- Well…in a way yes
V- I want to be famous too
V‘s Dad - OK
V - But why does she have so many policemen outside her house
V’s Dad- She has a lot of money in her house
V- Oh, did she steal the money and maybe that’s why the policemen have come to capture her??
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Dressing up for my little man
Kids tucked in. Beautiful night. Friends waiting. A and I were just stepping out when I went to check on the kids one last time before leaving. V was half awake when I kissed him. He asked me sleepily why I never wore such pretty clothes when I went out with him and why did I wear all the nice clothes only when I went out with dada!!
Hmm...never thought of it that way. I just wear what's most comfortable and sensible when I'm with the kids. Ditto for birthday parties as I'm always sure I'll get some ice cream dropped 'accidentally' right on my lap or worse still have chocolatey fingers gripping my sleeve. And also because I never really thought that it mattered. But apparently it did. Of course it did. Flashback- I remember coming home from school to a mother who was always clad in a starched and ironed cotton saree, her face washed and her bindi freshly made. Just looking at my mother made me forget my upcoming tests and already received test scores. Everything would seem possible just gazing into all that calm, fresh prettiness!
I've seen mothers lounging around in their 'kaftans'( thankful if its not torn) or worse 'nighties' while at home. Oh I agree that they maybe the most comfy clothes in which you can achieve your 1001 targets for the day. But do remember that it's also the way your kids are going to remember you by.
Following weekend, V&S were all set to have fun at their friend's birthday party. I came out wearing the 'pretty dress' that V saw me wearing the other night. I knew that a spaghetti strap chiffon thingie was most unsuitable for a 5 year old's birthday party. But the look in his eyes, I will never forget. "Amma, you are wearing your pretty clothes for ME, you look awesome"!! I felt such a thrill run through my body- inexplicable!
We dress up for our husbands, for our friends, for interviews.... for strangers. Lets start dressing up for our kids. It means a lot to them and definitely has quite an effect on them.
I have my dreams of wearing starched Bengal cotton sarees and big bindis and recreating my mom's image for my kids....well that still remains a dream. But I definitely have progressed...no more boring jeans, staid ponytails and sensible capris. A dash of lipstick even if its only down to the playground, a twirly skirt to the library....I'm thoroughly enjoying dressing up for the little man in my life!
Hmm...never thought of it that way. I just wear what's most comfortable and sensible when I'm with the kids. Ditto for birthday parties as I'm always sure I'll get some ice cream dropped 'accidentally' right on my lap or worse still have chocolatey fingers gripping my sleeve. And also because I never really thought that it mattered. But apparently it did. Of course it did. Flashback- I remember coming home from school to a mother who was always clad in a starched and ironed cotton saree, her face washed and her bindi freshly made. Just looking at my mother made me forget my upcoming tests and already received test scores. Everything would seem possible just gazing into all that calm, fresh prettiness!
I've seen mothers lounging around in their 'kaftans'( thankful if its not torn) or worse 'nighties' while at home. Oh I agree that they maybe the most comfy clothes in which you can achieve your 1001 targets for the day. But do remember that it's also the way your kids are going to remember you by.
Following weekend, V&S were all set to have fun at their friend's birthday party. I came out wearing the 'pretty dress' that V saw me wearing the other night. I knew that a spaghetti strap chiffon thingie was most unsuitable for a 5 year old's birthday party. But the look in his eyes, I will never forget. "Amma, you are wearing your pretty clothes for ME, you look awesome"!! I felt such a thrill run through my body- inexplicable!
We dress up for our husbands, for our friends, for interviews.... for strangers. Lets start dressing up for our kids. It means a lot to them and definitely has quite an effect on them.
I have my dreams of wearing starched Bengal cotton sarees and big bindis and recreating my mom's image for my kids....well that still remains a dream. But I definitely have progressed...no more boring jeans, staid ponytails and sensible capris. A dash of lipstick even if its only down to the playground, a twirly skirt to the library....I'm thoroughly enjoying dressing up for the little man in my life!
Friday, June 4, 2010
Vaibh-atim/Shriy-atim
My little imps are ALWAYS saying things that make me laugh, wonder and gape! And most times I just enjoy the moment and let it pass. But when friends and family from far ask me what they are upto or what they've been saying I'm at a loss. My mind just goes blank!
So, I decided to put down all those crazy, wacky, oh-so-true comments/questions that they come up with everyday. In the last few weeks.......
V: (very worried expression and genuinely concerned tone) Amma, who can I marry?
I: Well, there's lots of time for that and you will meet somebody real nice
V: But amma, all the good ones are already married!!! There's nobody nice left for me!!
V: How do you think Hanuman or Ganesha would look like without their costumes?
S: I'm three and three quarter, right?
I: Yes
S: And anna is five and a half right?
I: Yes
S: Three quarter is bigger than half and so I'm bigger than anna!!
V: Why do all the gods have their palm raised
I: They are blessing us Vaibhs
V: How are you so sure? To me it seems like they just want a high five!
V: I'm going to have a son
I: OK
V: you know what I'm going to name him?
I: What?
v: Tarzan Chari
V: Amma, my teacher keeps singing a song about the 9 planets
I: What's wrong with that?
V: But Pluto is no longer a planet!
S: Dont say that anna, Pluto's feelings will get hurt!!
S: I love you soooo much ma
I: Why (smugly expecting an answer like "because you take care of us etc etc")
S: Because you have a long ponytail
So, I decided to put down all those crazy, wacky, oh-so-true comments/questions that they come up with everyday. In the last few weeks.......
V: (very worried expression and genuinely concerned tone) Amma, who can I marry?
I: Well, there's lots of time for that and you will meet somebody real nice
V: But amma, all the good ones are already married!!! There's nobody nice left for me!!
V: How do you think Hanuman or Ganesha would look like without their costumes?
S: I'm three and three quarter, right?
I: Yes
S: And anna is five and a half right?
I: Yes
S: Three quarter is bigger than half and so I'm bigger than anna!!
V: Why do all the gods have their palm raised
I: They are blessing us Vaibhs
V: How are you so sure? To me it seems like they just want a high five!
V: I'm going to have a son
I: OK
V: you know what I'm going to name him?
I: What?
v: Tarzan Chari
V: Amma, my teacher keeps singing a song about the 9 planets
I: What's wrong with that?
V: But Pluto is no longer a planet!
S: Dont say that anna, Pluto's feelings will get hurt!!
S: I love you soooo much ma
I: Why (smugly expecting an answer like "because you take care of us etc etc")
S: Because you have a long ponytail
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
For Art's Sake!!
It’s the mid-term break and my kids are out of school for a week. We’ve been doing a lot of fun stuff at home keeping ourselves busy. Somedays we just go out for a couple of hours to Borders or the library and top it off with a snack before heading back home. The other day we headed towards Plaza Singapura where I heard there was to be a Transformers show of some sort. We actually made it in time and V was in 'gadget heaven' throughout the show. The spunky kid that he is, he even managed to go up on stage and dance along with the characters!
After the show the kids wanted to stop by at the Art Centre. They offer stained glass painting, sand art and rubber art for kids. Both V & S opted for the rubber art. It’s a character or figure that’s outlined in rubber which the kids have to fill in with paints and finally bake it in an oven. Quite fun!
Both kids quickly settled down and I just watched and chatted with them as they got busy. Of course in their eagerness they squeezed too much or too little or spread the paint too thin or too thick. Colors merged, paint dripped and even happily escaped the rigid rubber outlines. They squealed in delight and wonder as the yellows and blues gave out magical greens and new undiscovered shades. It was beautiful to watch - their little minds choosing the colors and their eyes concentrating on not messing up and their tongues sticking out just a wee bit (mine do that when focusing)!
We were all at peace, immersed in Art when we suddenly heard a little girl next to S point at my darling daughter’s painting and say “Yuck, your picture already wrong”. Hearing this a mother sitting next to me took a peek and shook her head in disapproval!! S’s face fell. I quickly told S loudly that her picture was beautiful, special and very creative because she had used her imagination with the colors. I also told the girl that there was no right or wrong in Art and that every picture was unique. The mother looked at me like I’d lost it!
It was then that I looked around and saw that all the other kids were sitting next to their parents merely watching and some politely assisting them. The parents were doing the pictures because they were afraid that the kids would spoil them. Even when the kids were given a turn the parents were supervising them with “Be careful”, “Aiyah, see, go out of line lah”!!
So what if a wee bit of paint strays out of the boundaries? So what if the kids mess up? So what if the colors merge? It was 6 bucks a painting afterall!! 6 bucks- can it compare to the confidence, creativity and independence that was being robbed off the kids? It definitely seems to me a very Singaporean attitude. Stick to the lines or rules. Follow the norms and do what everybody does. Obey authority unquestioningly. With attitudes like that, how can we expect creativity to spring inside our next generation? How can we ever show the world that artists are nurtured even here and however can we have new thoughts, ideas and choices enter our world?
Give your kids a chance, let them mess their artwork a bit….you never know, that could be the beginning of a lifetimes interest with colors. Let them choose and let them make mistakes- they’ll learn better and will feel great!For Art’s sake, give them the freedom to express!
In the meanwhile, V& S, please mess, mix, muck about with colors. Your paintings were definitely unique that day because it had YOU in them. All the other paintings looked boringly perfect. Anybody can do perfect, it takes an artist to do pictures!
After the show the kids wanted to stop by at the Art Centre. They offer stained glass painting, sand art and rubber art for kids. Both V & S opted for the rubber art. It’s a character or figure that’s outlined in rubber which the kids have to fill in with paints and finally bake it in an oven. Quite fun!
Both kids quickly settled down and I just watched and chatted with them as they got busy. Of course in their eagerness they squeezed too much or too little or spread the paint too thin or too thick. Colors merged, paint dripped and even happily escaped the rigid rubber outlines. They squealed in delight and wonder as the yellows and blues gave out magical greens and new undiscovered shades. It was beautiful to watch - their little minds choosing the colors and their eyes concentrating on not messing up and their tongues sticking out just a wee bit (mine do that when focusing)!
We were all at peace, immersed in Art when we suddenly heard a little girl next to S point at my darling daughter’s painting and say “Yuck, your picture already wrong”. Hearing this a mother sitting next to me took a peek and shook her head in disapproval!! S’s face fell. I quickly told S loudly that her picture was beautiful, special and very creative because she had used her imagination with the colors. I also told the girl that there was no right or wrong in Art and that every picture was unique. The mother looked at me like I’d lost it!
It was then that I looked around and saw that all the other kids were sitting next to their parents merely watching and some politely assisting them. The parents were doing the pictures because they were afraid that the kids would spoil them. Even when the kids were given a turn the parents were supervising them with “Be careful”, “Aiyah, see, go out of line lah”!!
So what if a wee bit of paint strays out of the boundaries? So what if the kids mess up? So what if the colors merge? It was 6 bucks a painting afterall!! 6 bucks- can it compare to the confidence, creativity and independence that was being robbed off the kids? It definitely seems to me a very Singaporean attitude. Stick to the lines or rules. Follow the norms and do what everybody does. Obey authority unquestioningly. With attitudes like that, how can we expect creativity to spring inside our next generation? How can we ever show the world that artists are nurtured even here and however can we have new thoughts, ideas and choices enter our world?
Give your kids a chance, let them mess their artwork a bit….you never know, that could be the beginning of a lifetimes interest with colors. Let them choose and let them make mistakes- they’ll learn better and will feel great!For Art’s sake, give them the freedom to express!
In the meanwhile, V& S, please mess, mix, muck about with colors. Your paintings were definitely unique that day because it had YOU in them. All the other paintings looked boringly perfect. Anybody can do perfect, it takes an artist to do pictures!
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