First few days in Finland

I was dreading the 12 hour night flight with the kids.
As always, the more I fret the more my kids will work on making me look like a fool. They were good as gold and Shriya slept 10 hours :-)

I was on an emotional roller-coater the last few days before leaving. Eating my favourite Singaporean foods was only rapidly increasing the waistline and not filling the void that I was feeling inside. I was

moping all the way to the airport with the kids staring at me. Vaibhav broke the silence and asked me " So, amma, how long will you be feeling

sad and grumpy? Will you also cry when its time for us to leave Finland?"

I was keeping my fingers crossed and hoped that spring had truly, fully set in. But I did not know that my kids had kept all their fingers and toes crossed for a freak winter experience bang in the middle of spring. Guess who's prayers were answered? Vaibhav and Shriya enjoyed their first ever snowfall (although mild), played in whatever sparse leftover snow and braced 0 degrees very comfortably!

We are all still acquainting ourselves around this quaint little city. Exploring the streets around where we live and experiencing the Finnish way of life. Learning to do everyday things all over again. Like taking the tram, buying grocery, cleaning up after a meal (we've been quite spoilt thatnks to our Filipina housekeeper in Singapore).

But its been great lessons in adaptability. The kids pitch in with everything. Shriya is always ' neating' the appartment. Vaibhav helps put away all the cold wear back in its drawer after an outing. They set the table and try to remember bus routes around the City Centre. We look forward to our evening walks by the sea. We've learned to relish the crisp cold outside and the toasty warmth indoors !

There is no time or need to mope. The picture postcard scenes outside the balcony alone should lift up the spirits. The little ones' levels of excitement and eagerness make us move on and count our blessings. With V and S's right spirit to goad us along, I know that we will make the most of our stint in this new land that we are still getting accustomed to calling HOME!

Saree Mommy for a Month!

We were in Chennai the last month. And I decided to ‘ Go Saree ‘! I won’t be offended if you think the heat had gone to my head and if I’d completely lost my marbles. The weather was scorching hot, the attire- a tad fussy and definitely not the most convenient with kids. But yet, it was such a joy these past few days, draping one beautiful creation after another.

I had always wanted to, at some point adopt the saree as my regular wear. Wearing a saree , to me, was the height of adulthood. Something that declared to the world that you’ve arrived! As a high schoolgirl, it was nothing more than torture that I had to endure during graduation day, making sure that I don’t trip on it or worse still strip myself of it. Having heard stories from my mother about how she managed her entire college years with just 5 sarees, I thought once I started college it would come easily to me. But it became impractical with the numerous classes I had to rush to. I hoped that when I got married, I would have all the leisure to live my dream of greeting my husband in a beautiful saree. But that was short-lived too and most unsuitable in Singapore as I was just starting my career.

The day we arrived, I raided my Mom’s cupboard and brought out my own rarely used collection. If it was a Chanderi in the morning, it was a Chiffon for the evening. Bengal cottons for the markets and Bandinis for visiting friends. And the best bit was that I was not parading in it for a few hours. It did not feel like a fancy dress contest, as it always had been! I actually lived in it, donning one an entire day.

To me, and I’m sure for many in my generation, the epitome of Desi mommyness is somebody elegantly draped in a crisply starched cotton saree, complete with a bindi! I totally reveled in that vision. When the gentle Marina beach breeze played with my saree pleats as my kids dragged me into the water, when I casually tucked in one end of the garment at my waist while helping my mom or mom-in-law in the kitchen , when my child insistently tugged at the pallu- It all felt so natural, so spontaneous and oh so graceful! I finally felt a part of that unsaid circle of moms who generations before me might have felt the same way that I did, while carrying out their everyday duties, in this very same attire.

The kids knew about the 'Go Saree' plan and loved it. My biggest compliment that entire month was when I morphed back to being practical 'Jeans Mommy' the day we were leaving Chennai. No bindi, no fancy earrings,no fuss look. Shriya said ' You look ....so, hmmm..so normal, ma. Why cant you wear a saree on the plane?'.

So glad you loved the abnormal look, little girl. But a saree on the plane-that's where I draw the line!

And the verdict after 3 weeks is:
Its not that uncomfortable. After a few days, you do get the hang of it. Its not hot and stuffy and on the contrary quite airy- Can now completely appreciate why it was meant to be draped this way. And it makes you feel gorgeous, like never before. An indescribable feeling! And for just that one last reason, I’d do it all over again the next time I’m back in Chennai!

Life cycle of a 'good deed'!

We were at a restaurant when Vaibhav's order arrived first. He was starving and dug in without offering any to his sister who was watching him intently. I asked him if he'd like to offer her some and he nodded a 'No', busily munching through his food.

And then Shriya's food came to the table. Her cheese toast was definitely delicious looking- all oozing cheese and buttery toast.I thought it was only me eyeing the dish when I saw Mr. V looking at it longingly too. Hmm...a teachable moment, I thought and elaborated on how if he had shared earlier,then his sister too would have followed his good example.He apologized to his sister and asked her if he could ' pleeease' take a bite.

The sister looked at me and grunted. I told her that she could be the ' better person' by sharing some with him.

My little girl wanted to know what she'd gain by being the 'better person'.I told her that God was watching her kind act and would take notice of it.

'OOooooh, now I understand', she said. 'Krishna gives me a gold star for my kind behaviour, then sends an SMS to Santa Claus and asks him to give me an extra gift and Santa then calls the Tooth Fairy and asks her to make my tooth loose so that I can get my dollar soon, Right??

:-)

Goodbyes!!

We shifted out of our home of nearly three years, this week. We had to let go of our trusted housekeeper of two years. We had to say goodbye to our friends of over a decade.

Goodbyes are always hard. And especially to people you've known forever!

We are in the midst of saying our good byes to our friends in Singapore - spending time over elaborate meals, catching movies together,playing ball games at relaxed picnics, chatting about the good 'ol times and just sometimes being with each other knowing we aren't going to have that luxury for long.

The kids, of course are having a fabulous times with their umpteen playdates and extensive playtimes with friends. They play like there's no tomorrow, hug their friends and shout out a 'see you in Finland'(Finland Tourism owes us one) when its time to leave!!

Such sincere friendships, so much innocent love and completely uninhibited fun!! Some of their friends have known them while still in their respective mummy's tummies.My poor darlings are going to terribly miss it all. My heart strings tug.I get all emotional and wonder how my little ones are taking it.

And am I even surprised. They are absolutely fine. Happy to be flitting between farewell parties. Making the most of the exisiting moment. Enjoying themselves to the hilt!!

But I'm sure they feel the intensity of each Goodbye. I've seen the slight change in their moods right after these farewells. But of course, kids being kids will adjust to any given situation. I'm more than sure that they will quickly find friends in Finland and will settle in smoothly.

It's just me!With every shift comes an inexplicable sense of longing, nostalgia and even mild discomfort. This is afterall the place where they were born, where they were first welcomed home, where they've had their birthdays and playdates and falls and fractures. This has been home and the people they know as friends are practically family!

I casually asked Shriya and Vaibhav if they missed their old home at Dunearn Gardens (After moving out, we have been living in this fabulously plush serviced apartment, bang in the middle of Orchard Road!) Shriya tells me, 'Amma, I love THIS place!! I'm having so much fun here that I forgot to miss Dunearn Gardens!'

That, I guess, is the right spirit!

And..The Gap Grows!

I have always been petrified of dentists. Still am.

And yet, on valentine's day the only date I had, and that too an impromptu one was with the dentist(The husband has been away in Finland, supposedly working very hard so could not even complain!)

I got a phone call from Vaibhav yesterday asking me to rush to school because he was bleeding!! My stomach did several mini somersaults while I mechanically headed towards his school.I found him at the school dentist's clinic. The dentist and he were having a serious chat. Couldn't care less as to what it was about. ..just glad that he was well enough to be discussing something. Barged my way into their conversation to find my poor little boy's lips bleeding profusely. He had apparently tripped on another boy and fallen flat on his face. But those minor details were all cast aside...as they were discussing more important things like whether to pull or not.

WHAT? Not again. He had the first two teeth pulled out as well and I was looking forward to having this one take its own time. But No, the doc felt that the fall had loosened the tooth a little too much and Mr. V played his part well by adding that it irritated him a lot!

I held his hand firm, shut my eyes tight and looked away the other side. The dentist counted ...one- two - three. I turned around to peek if it was all over but horror of horrors it was not. Vaibhav had a mirror in one hand, intensely watching the gruesome scene unfold while the dentist was tugging at his teeth!

Tooth once again was handed over to him in a ziploc. Vaibhav came to me and whispered that I never should take the doc's first one -two -three seriously. " Amma, the docs say it the first time so that they dont get nervous, they will always pull it out only the second time. You should not have opened your eyes till the second time"!!

He's a brave kid alright but those genes are definitely not mine. He gave me a big toothless grin and said that today was his lucky day as God had accidentally, correctly made him fall!!

And the irony of it all, the dentist was not handsome, nope, he was not even a guy. My Valentine's date was with this very nice, grandmotherly lady who might have checked all of my teeth too had I stayed a minute longer!!

Chores No More A Bore!

We started off with gold stars and black marks. Good behavior = 1 gold star
Bad behavior = Black Mark
At the end of the month we would tally it all up and dole out $2 to each kid.

After a while, this system failed. The reward at the end of the month was too long a wait!!

We progressed to instant rewards and withdrawal of treats (I detest calling them punishments...makes me sound so cruel)!So for every good deed and nice behavior, they enjoyed an extra 10 minutes of playtime, piggyback ride on Dad's back to the loo and back, extra 5 minutes of bubble blowing during bathtime. And for bad behavior, it was 15 minutes deducted from 'sacred' half an hour of tv time a day or worse still 1 0 minutes of quiet time during play hour.

It seemed like I was always going...V- you miss 10 mins of tv this weekend, S- you have to sit and eat your dinner in the kitchen as you miss 10 mins of tv time and its your brothers turn to enjoy a tv dinner.And they went....' But amma, this is the program that I have been waiting for 2 weeks. Can I miss tv time tomorrow instead...pleeeeeaaase?', ' Howcome I got 15 mins of playtime cut yesterday while he only gets 10 mins of tv time cut today?' Amma, you are SO mean!!'

Aaargh...keeping track of who misses what and when and why was getting to me. Added to that, carrying forward these missing-of-treats was def making me go crazy. BUT the system worked. They hated missing their treats but I realized that it was the resentment towards the withdrawal of treats rather than the cause of it all that finally stuck in their heads.

There had to be a better way. A method where the kids happily accept the consequences and I am not seen as the in-house witch! And we found a system that works for us just nicely through one of their beloved Berenstein Bear books. Mamma Bear is pretty much in the same situation as me. And she brilliantly suggests chores for every bad bit of behavior!

So, now we have a list put up in the kitchen that reads:

Bloopers ----- Help Josie aunty (housekeeper) dust the furniture
Bad Table manners ------------ Wipe the table clean after x meals
Disrespect/Disobedience -------- help with odd jobs like putting away the dishes or putting away the shoes in the rack

The kids understand this better.The consequences are very clearly spelt out. So, no more negotiations, no more' You are the Meanest Mom', no more having to remember the whats and whys.

I love this constructive way of learning while realizing their follies. And it certainly helps that the kids are actually acquiring new skills which could come very handy in Finland where we are moving to soon. Super thrilled that they have especially become adept at cleaning the dining table. They will say it out aloud before carrying out the task: Clear dishes, wet cloth first, dry cloth last!

Yesterday, caught Vaibhav skewing his head and narrowing his eyes to check the table one last time for any hidden stains!Aah, the satisfaction of a job well done:-)

Thank you Mamma Bear!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!

You can't miss the buzz and spirit of Chinese New Year living in Singapore!
It was celebration time at Shriya's school. And what a celebration it was this year!!We rung in the year of the dragon amidst lots of fun, music, dance and food!