The Big Bad 'D' Word

Truth is, its neither big nor bad anymore! Divorce is something that just happens and ever so commonly in this part of the world, that we now call home. It still is rare and kind of taboo in South East Asia(which we used to call home till recently) which is all about family and strong relationships.

The kids have been suddenly exposed to the entire concept.A little too soon for my liking! They have local friends in the neighborhood who live with their mother but visit their step mom and dad every other week when they also get to play with V and S. They have classmates who live with single parents who proudly claim that they have two houses and hence two playrooms. They've met friends of ours- women who are raising babies on their own and grannies who find gardening more worthwhile than husbands!

For kids who have never heard the word before, its been quite an education! Predictably, they were full of questions. Queries that just needed to be heard aloud but answers to which their hearts already knew.

Kids-Will the step- mom be mean to them?
Me-You've met Mrs. X several times. Do you think she is a mean person?

Kids-Why did the Mom and Dad have a fight?
Me- Its not about them fighting. They just were not best friends anymore

Kids-Why did they not make up and sorry?
Me- They did and are happier this way

Kids-Do we have any step-brothers or sisters?
Me-I sure hope not :-)

I'm learning that however much you shield your kids from certain realities in life, they just sneak right into their lives when you least expect them to. This was just a topic we had never discussed. We never had an opportunity to bring it up.It did not occur in the TV shows they watched,books they read, movies they saw or families they interacted with. It was just not in their sphere of thought....till now.


So now, they know that families can be structured differently.People can have two moms or dads and love them all. With that minimum information stored somewhere deep inside their heads and hearts, my little innocents run to the door to greet their friends and also pop in a cheery 'Hello' to their friends' step-mom!